Dr. Murray bowen invented what has become known as “bowen concept” or own family systems principle. Dr. Rabbi friedman put bowen’s idea to work for rabbis, pastors and other non secular professions in generation to technology and his posthumous work failure of nerve.
This concept of circle of relatives conduct is based on numerous key principles approximately why humans act like they do in companies, not based totally on mechanistic roles but on how humans in organizations act emotionally. This concept thinks in phrases of emotional tactics and now not in hierarchies or intellectual phrases.
This article examines why most people love cats as a means to give an explanation for numerous of the main ideas in murray bowen’s theory of own family and societal structures.
We irrationally love cats–the ones of us who do. Folks who hate cats hate them irrationally. Why all the feelings about cats? Because they expose the reality approximately human emotional systems by using introducing catlike emotional conduct!
The cat, any cat, delivered into the human emotional device, will reason the human emotional system to arrange. Now not because the cat does anything but due to how the cat is emotionally.
- Cats have a tendency to be emotionally self-differentiated
Self-differentiation is the purpose and high water mark of adulthood for the bowen concept. Cats have it.
They recognise what they like. persian kittens for sale $300 They understand who they prefer. They understand what they may and could now not do and refuse to be taught. They have no preference to win approval however are looking for emotional aid (petting) after they need it and from whom they need it.
Most people call this independence or detachment. It is virtually the placement of self-differentiation to which we all aspire. We recognize cats for being able to be aloof and standoffish. What we absolutely appreciate is their capability to shamelessly self-differentiate.
Those who hate cats most possibly are uncomfortable with others who refuse to participate in emotional hubbub in the human gadget too.
- Cats do now not receive anxiety from others
Whilst there may be “drama” among people, cats generally run off or maintain out of the fray by using hissing and going into fend-off protecting mode until they could break out. Cats refuse to accept anxiety from others.
They will pick to purr round you while you are dissatisfied, but that, all of us know, is pure coincidence. Cats contend with their own emotional distress. They do not ask for assist. They combat their own fights and by no means are looking for to recruit the “gang” or “herd” effect as humans do.
Three. Cats have learned a perfect balance among closeness and distance
Cats by no means end up so attached that they can not do without you however in no way so remote they do not look for you after you have been gone a while.
They’ve located the precise balance of distance and closeness that people rarely discover. Maximum people grow to be so near every different they fuse both by way of loving or preventing. Or human beings distance from every other in response to tension as a result preserving the fusion on a distance stage.
If you are long gone a 12 months or an hour it makes no distinction. They may react the same for your go back in predictable patterns. The longer you’re gone the much less they will react upon your go back.
Maximum people admire the bounds of a cat lots more than the emotional boundaries of other humans!
Four. Cats are remote however related
They in no way “go away” the device. They do their very own element after which, , it seems, they may arrive into the emotional system with purring and a preference to be petted on their very own phrases. Try to coax them and you’ll only get disdain and disinterest. Try to forestall them once they want strokes and you may ought to get out a brush.
Five. Cats study this behavior from parents
Whilst kittens, they display no self-differentiation except while they’ll pitilessly shove the runt out of the way to get the final suck of milk despite the fact that the runt can be ravenous to demise.
Cats are social animals like people, however even the mom is self-differentiated. She feeds whilst she feels like it and defends the litter if she is in the temper.
People are inquisitive about this closeness/distance stability however we appreciate it too.
The kittens analyze it from their dad and mom. The father stands off to the side as a every so often protector of the clutter and the mother attends the babies without asking a issue more from the father.
If a kitten acts up, the mom never threatens the kittens with the go back or retribution of the father: she does the swatting herself.
- Cats may additionally sense tension throughout instances of change but they take care of their very own – they do now not triangle
In bowen’s principle, humans constantly triangle. We can’t cope with the not unusual anxieties of life and so we are looking for out a person to percentage our tension. The tension manufacturer–whether or not it’s far a state of affairs or someone or a strain–is constantly the 0.33 individual in the triangle.
Cats do not do this. They handle their personal anxiety like the elder chief of a lion pleasure. While the young lion challenges the pleasure leader the leader might also positioned up a ceremonial fight but handles the anxiety. He does no longer searching for to proportion the tension with anyone. He is going off into the distance and watches the pride move on with out him.
People admire this and fear it at the equal time. A person who’s self-differentiated is scary to individuals who aren’t. The purpose for this is because humans tend to be a herding species, especially while there is alternate or disappointed within the “everyday” way tension is dealt with in the machine.
- Cats feed on herds they in no way shape herds
Cats eat from panicked herds. They do no longer form herds. They form prides. Even the name suggests independence and wonderful attributes.
Whilst human beings experience tension, they have a tendency to herd collectively to expel the tension through attacking it or going for walks from it rather than managing it.
As an example, think about the distasteful photographs on the tv documentaries of lions ingesting water buffalo or gazelles. Be aware, if the herd all at once turned at the cats, the cats would lose. Even though numerous, perhaps just a handful, of the thousands-of-pounds beasts grew to become at the cats, the limber but vulnerable-to-stomping cats might flee in panic.
Herds “organization assume” and panic. They run from anxiety or mindlessly attack every other trying to find the panic-making culprit, but they rarely assault the real predator which has been stalking them for days.
They fail to spot the actual risk: the cat within the room.
- Cats can transfer prides based on their personal self-hobby
Cats can move from owner to proprietor, pride to pleasure, with out lack of self-differentiation. Provide a cat away and it’ll adapt right now to the new scenario because it become now not emotionally fused with the closing one!
Humans can also experience this as selfishness at the part of the cat or self-absorption. In truth, it’s miles adroit emotional model. A few cats will depart one family and undertake any other with reputedly no regrets if the brand new situation is within the exceptional hobby of the cat. And the cat knows.
Selfishness and self-differentiation are not the same and cats appear to understand this. Cats are not egocentric. They percentage after they determine to proportion. They show affection after they need to and not when they need to.
They don’t need people. They are able to hunt in the event that they need to. In the event that they do select to hunt, they normally convey the negative beast to their humans to supplement the foodstuffs the people accumulate from god knows wherein.
- Cats can act like kittens in the event that they sense like it
Cats can, delightfully, occasionally act like a kitten! –gambling with balls and dancing after laser lights moving from a human penlight. Cats can regress when they experience playful or curious.
This potential to regress isn’t emotional weak point but the willingness to be emotionally open after they feel like it. There is the key: when they experience adore it.
Their unpredictability is pleasant to most people. Some human beings hate cats. They aren’t needy sufficient. They don’t fuse. They are nugatory anxiety receptors. An angry human may kick a dog and the canine will cower. Kick a cat and notice what happens. They’ll now not share your anxiety.
These are only a few reasons why human beings love cats. They reflect the emotional fitness described in bowen’s own family machine concept and this reasons a extremely good department among people.
A few hate cats for the same purpose some human beings dislike self-differentiated people. Like a cat, a self-differentiated individual can not be emotionally manipulated, does no longer fall easily into triangulation, and seems uncaring and selfish to a person who’s begging for a accomplice in anxiety.